Days like canvas, lilywhite

Reaching all the way to the other side

Waiting to be filled with life

Empty shores longing for their evening tide


But when the night comes over you

Darkened skies are bleeding blue

You hide inside in fear of showing them the truth

Avoid all evidence


Now you make your move,

Unsure of where to go and what you're trying to prove

Your theory is closed around itself

With nothing to dispute


Witnessed by starlight, all alone

You shed your skin, you're naked to the bone

Most vulnerable when you're on your own

But it's the only place from which you can grow


It's clear that all your light comes from within

Illuminating waves of places that you've seen

You're treading lightly, following to where they lead

Unknowing if you'll find just what you need


But when you are finally found

There's home awaiting you with arms to wrap around

The shameful shell they call you body, it's now your own

And when you fall, you'll fall on common ground


It's clear that all your light comes from within

Though nothing can erase the things that you have seen

But rest assured, your life is now your own

And when you fall, you'll fall on common ground



What will I do with my hands when I meet you?

How will I hold my head, all up in the clouds, when I see you?

Can I calm my nerves enough to speak and make sense

Before my time in your gracious presence ends?


Burned out like a firefly

Fade into the night

I'm just a city you're passing through

Soon I'll be out of sight

And out of mind


Will you look back and flash a smile when you walk away?

Or sigh with relief cause you escaped once again while I lie awake

And shiver through nights without you,

Wondering if I ever felt anything other than heartache

Lose myself in a crowd while my particles disintegrate


Burned out like a firefly

Traveling on and on

I'm just a moment you're moving through

In the blink of an eye I'll be gone


But until then I will love you

Secretly, like I'm used to

Lose all my grace, sleep on concrete to be first in the queue

Just to be near you, just to be near you..


Cast my heart in plaster and multiply

Its everchanging shapes

So that when I am gone

Something will remain


To remind you how I loved you then


I'm still waiting for it to sink in

It's teeth right into my chest

Collapsed on your doorstep

Where I came to rest


And is all that I have given you all you can take?

Comparing the injuries that we've sustained

In our time

Now you've got your truth and I got mine.


All that deafening silence that's now between us

Carries all of my words that you chose not to trust

But I'll sort out my feelings, and I'll outgrow this fear

I'll believe my pretending that you were never here

'til the day I can no longer see

The mark of your leaving on me.


Another winter has passed and gone

Another holy war has been fought and won

Or so it seems, as you stare at the screen

Showing familiar words but you just can't figure out what they mean


So you soak up some sun,

Shades over your eyes

The light is way too bright

As you watch the melting ice drift by


Another painting come to life

You plan another new start at 25

What if this one won't work out

You give in to your doubt

What if you will have to quit dreaming out loud...


So you spin your web of sound and sing your songs

And listen to voices who say that you still have time because you are still young

And try to keep the bitterness from spilling over your tongue


And in the half light of a fading day

I recall your name and the things that we used to say

Your voice is the one that stands out from the crowd

Even though it has long since gone

But in the inner chambers

It echoes on, it echoes on.



Two sets of hands, working side by side

Constantly questioning what we think is right

And my heart beats faster even at the slightest

hint of completion, I'm biding my time


Feel the light leave outside

And come back up again, a mirror in your eyes

We stumble home in the middle of the road

Back among the living in the february cold


Step away from the canvas, larger than life

What is it that they gave you, what is it that you hide?

And all of our ghosts from the past they won't win despite

Everything that we're fighting, we're biding our time


Out like a light in a strangers room

But I'm all alive, so come on, have me exhumed

Clean the dirt off of my skin and bones

Close the door when I leave, out into the unknown


Oh my wondrous one, my far away

Come back, come back to me and stay


Two sets of feet, walking side by side

And by now we are certain what we feel is right

And there's no way of seeing what's hiding in plain sight

But I think that we finally found it, this time


Oh my wondrous love, my far away


I know light and I know darkness

I can feel the secrets that you harness

A dead crows head in the garden

We buried it, black soil as varnish


Come be with us, we see just who you are

(I know it's hard to trust

When you've been betrayed by those who were supposed to love you)

I wish I could promise you no harm


We know hate and we now violence

A body by the road, draped in blood and lifeless

When all we want is love and kindness

The right to be ourselves, of which they have deprived us


It's terrifying, thinking it through

The consequences of speaking the truth

Of revealing who you've always been inside

The parts that you no longer want to hide


Come stay with us, we need you on our side

Our stars are stains of rust

In the nightsky overlooking all of us

Spanning far and wide


We have been brought together

Clustered atoms float like falling feathers

We congregate and we scatter

Our stories into hidden dreams of big endeavours



I am a forest burning bright, can't you see me?

There's firefighters failing to put me out

Spitting soot and ash into the sky that is hanging above me

And wherever I go I leave nothing but desolate ground


From red to black to grey to white to dust to air

Until the wind picks up all that remains and scatters it everywhere


I am no longer setting fire to myself

But what is there to keep me from kindling again?

I've always had trouble asking others for help

„Just give me 2 or 3 years and I'll be okay“


How can I still love anything?

When I watch myself play from the sidelines,

Knowing that I can't win


I am out here and all of my lights are on, can't you see me?

I'm slowly learning how to breathe again

The smoke is clearing from my arsonist heart, away through the trees

And in case of fire, just give me a lifetime and maybe I'll be okay


And somehow I still love everything

When I watch you play from the audience, when I hear you sing

And it is so easy to love everything

When I open my heart to the currents, when I let you in



Have I already grown into the clothes that were laid out for me?

This year has started to show me things I did not want to see

Can you take my time, can you keep the score?

Can you measure me, build a model from cardboard?


In theory, we have it all figured out

A defunct default


I am no longer drifting, I am rowing to get to the shore

Brute forcing honesty onto myself, a novelty that shakes me right down to my core

It's a learning curve, there's no straight lines

And everything I deserve can be mine

If I...


Take the time to get used to the boxing gloves I wear on my hands

Throwing punches with my shadow goliath, refusing to meet his demands

Any longer, I won't give in

Landlocked into this mind and this body, a metaphor-synonym


And all that we have learned to love

We will learn to lose

If you figure out what it all means,

Does that really make it all true?


It's a waiting game, but I am sure

That everything you are looking for can be yours


If you...



I don't know where I'm going

I don't know where I'll be tomorrow

I am trying not to show it

Can't you see how much I've grown?


Don't you know how hard I try to not let go

And I know I'm not easy to find, but you made me so

And I'd never follow through, but it gets hard sometimes

With all this static in my mind


Keep me at bay and if all fails just try to keep me on the open shore

Keep me contained within the trenches of myself where I will be forevermore


I don't know how I'm doing

All those things I'm told are worth pursuing

It's so tiring and confusing

How much longer must I keep on moving?


Don't you know how long it takes to just fall asleep?

When your thoughts are racing fast and way too deep

Through evergrowing pitchdark forests made of family trees

Where I'll never find relief


I watch the shadows growing longer over the fields, swallowing everything

And if you still hold some light within yourself

Will you keep it bright until another day begins?


Keep on making space for yourself

At the end of the day you'll be left with no one else

This winter will be a long one, I can already tell

The air is clear, but you won't be found

If you stay right where you fell


And the sun will come and melt the ice away

Warm on your back, a headstart in the race

And you want so bad to believe

All the things that the good omens claim

But you're scared to be too optimistic,

All that ever got you was pain


Keep on drawing circles 'round your head

You're holier than they will ever know,

Spreading light from your birth to your deathbed

You're sewing garments for your fates with silver thread

I doubt that you are aware of it,

But you're shaping the path you'll tread

Have faith and go ahead


And the moon will come and fill your cups with life

Until they overflow and spread their magic through the night

Your searchlight is still on the shipwreck,

Estimating the damage in blistering white

But it'll keep on moving until it's out of sight


And you will remember, unable to forget,

But just like the past you can move yourself forward

From where the present has you set

And all you have to do is have faith and go ahead



When it all becomes too much

That's when you let it all out

When it all comes crashing down on you

At once


And envy washes over you

Burning you alive

An ancient, heavy jealousy

Dying stars collide

Deep inside


When it all comes bleeding through

Whatever act you put on

There's nothing left to hold onto

All fire in you is gone


And all those things wash over you

That you were trying not to feel

And everything you bottled up

So carefully

Is at once revealed


Don't give that dread a name

It'll only make it grow

Into your empty frame


Don't try to be some kind of saint

You will see further

The higher you aim



Just to feel loved

Just once to be seen

Just for a little while


What do you mean, when you say that this love goes both ways?

What do you see, when you look down at your feet?

Sparrows in a field


Just for a moment

Just for a day

Your laughter in my ears, everything's easy

What did you say?



All of the rivers are frozen inside

And all of my life feels like it was put on thin ice

I don't know how much longer it will refuse to break

And it's barely getting light outside and I'm already awake


So I keep it together until I am home

It's not easier to bear now, but at least I'm alone

I can do what I need, I can finally let go

Cause there's no one around to witness it


And everyone's turning their doubleblind eyes

You can't possibly know what you haven't seen for yourself, isn't that right?

And I get so tired of my own bitterness

But I can't stop coughing it up and spitting it out,

It's just how I am, I guess


So I try to be good, to keep things okay

I know I can't die yet cause I promised to stay,

So I start to drink, though I don't feel like it

But it's what I'm allowed cause I'm a hypocrite


Give me mindnumbing nonsense, whatever it is,

Though I know it won't help, it's just a makeshift fix

And then once I get started, I can't come back from it

I say just one more time, but then I ruin it


But I know you're not turning a blind eye

You see all of my flaws that I am failing to hide

I'm so scared that you will grow tired of this helplessness

And I can't make it go away, but I will try again, I guess.


Leaning on the wall

You're right in front of me now

I can feel the magnets pulling me in

As lawful as gravity

A sea of shrapnel in your orbit

That's where I'll be


Just beyond the horizon

You're there but out of reach

And we were never in hiding even when

We should have been

Trusting the night to keep us invisible 

And unseen


And my heart heard your song before any reason came along

To drown it out, with white noise of morality

But I followed you anyways, down the rabbit hole where us sinners lay

And I followed you home


To where estuaries meet the open sea

And we're allowed to be whatever we can be


My devoted attention swam belly up in a glass of cheap beer

I'm all over the place but right now I'm nothing but here

And I know that you're right here beside me, cause I trust what I feel


And you tell me to face what comes crashing down

With the force of a wall of breaking waves

Eventually I'll find a way

And I do not need to ask why you won't grow some roots instead of branches

Our blood runs at the same restless pace


A rift, spanning centuries, tied up with threadbare string

Empirical evidence opening eyes to the present we are in


Leaning on the same wall, you're right behind me now

I'm looking at us from the future

I don't know what to see